Zwischen: The Space Between Worlds

If you’ve ever whispered I can’t do this anymore and then, three minutes later, begged please don’t let this ever end, you already know Zwischen. That contradiction is motherhood personified. You feel it in the final weeks of pregnancy, but you’ll meet it again and again as they grow - the tug between exhaustion and awe, frustration and fierce love, the craving for space and the ache for closeness.

The word Zwischen, meaning “in-between”, was first used this way by midwife Jana Studelska in 2012 to name that strange limbo of late pregnancy. You’re not quite birthing yet, but you’re not simply pregnant anymore. You’re stuck in a suspended, weirdly slow moment that somehow feels both endless and too short. Your body is priming. Your baby is almost here. Your nervous system is fizzing. You’re standing in the threshold between who you were and who you’re about to become. Some call it the “sacred pause.” I call it the first real lesson of motherhood, because everything you’ll need later (patience in bucket loads, surrender, brutal acceptance, the ability to hold two opposing truths at once) begins here.

What the Zwischen Actually Feels Like

It’s excitement and exhaustion. Readiness and resistance. The urge to nest and the urge to run the f*ck away from the organising. Every niggle sparks hope. But every morning you wake up still pregnant, it feels like an insult, like the universe laughing at you. You analyse every tightening, cramp, flutter. Is this it? The truth: yes, this is it. Not necessarily tonight, but you are absolutely in the final chapter. Your body is gearing up; every ripple, ache and hormone surge is doing work. This is the initiation: patience, acceptance, surrender. It took me a long time to realise that the skills you’ll lean on for parenting start here. So what if we reframed the last few days of pregnancy not as pointless waiting, but as our first parenting class - the part where you practice letting go of control, sitting with uncertainty, and watch the ego dissolve a little?

Then there’s everyone else: “When are you due?” “Any signs yet?” “Still pregnant?” We know they mean well, but also: f*ck off. Zwischen can’t be rushed, your baby isn’t late, you’re not failing to go into labour, you’re in the quiet finale…and masterpieces can’t be rushed.

How to Ground Yourself in the In-Between (no woo, just useful)

This isn’t about rituals or spiritual clichés. It’s about practical moves that keep you sane when your brain wants to panic or murder your husband with your bare hands because he breathed too loudly. Here’s what actually helps.

1. Move. Gently. On purpose.
Prenatal yoga, hip circles on a birth ball, or a slow walk. Not to “induce” anything but to feel human in your body, to stop the tension from ratcheting up until you snap. Movement calms your nervous system and can help baby get comfy in position. It keeps you steady when the waiting makes you twitchy.

2. Anchor your head.
Five minutes of breathwork, or a short NSDR (non-sleep deep rest) session, done properly, will change the game. It’s cheap, fast, and actually works when you feel like you’re unraveling.

3. Feed future-you.
Stock the freezer with real meals - soups, stews, lasagnas. When you’re exhausted and delirious postpartum, reheated food is the difference between functioning and melting down.

4. Plan for the marathon, not the sprint.
Set up your rest area, sort nappies and pads, and have practical conversations with your partner or support people about who will do what. Birth is the event; postpartum is the long haul. Prepare for it.

5. Build your goddamn village.
This is not the time to play “I’m superwoman, I can do it all.” Trust me, you can’t. Text people and ask for meals, errands, school runs if you have older children. Say: “I need X at Y time.” Clear asks. No hinting. People genuinely want to help so make it simple for them.

6. Create a calm perimeter.
Dim the lights, lock the door when you can, put on one playlist that makes you feel steady. Lower the noise so your nervous system can downshift. You’re making a safe micro-world, and that’s effective for you and your baby.

7. Rest like it’s your job.
Nap. Cancel plans. Say “no” before “yes.” Rest is not lazy, it’s your strategy. Your body is finishing the job. Treat it like the work it is.

8. Write it down.
Even five lines. The anger, the small joy, the fear. Those short notes will be gold later and journalling can offload the looped thinking that makes you heavy.

9. There’s No Wrong Way to Wait.
There is no wrong way to be in this moment (aside from lying flat on your back if fetal positioning is an issue). Your baby is doing the finishing touches and you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.

When It’s Too Much

If you’re exhausted and uncomfortable, remember you’re not weak or broken - you’re human. Try some practical supports:

• A pregnancy massage from someone trained in prenatal bodywork.

• Acupuncture if you’ve found it helpful before.

• Women’s health physio or chiro.

• Baths, warm showers, or a float if you can - the relief is real.

• Slow, supported movement, not as a fix, but as a small kindness to your body.

And do not tolerate advice from any random person telling you “you should” be enjoying this. Do what helps you cope and protects your energy; even if that involves smiling whilst giving them the middle finger.

The Real Work of the Zwischen

In a culture obsessed with output, Zwischen can feel unbearable. There’s nothing to do, and yet everything is happening. This is the season where your nervous system practices shifting between up and down, where hormones align to what’s needed for birth, and where your internal world rearranges itself without you noticing. It’s the download before the launch. Not wasted time, the infrastructure.

From the Founder: Sophie on the In-Between

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I remember feeling like life was on pause, like I couldn’t move forward until I gave birth. But now I see that the Zwischen was the work. It forced me to slow down, strip away the noise, and listen. That’s what we mean at Tenth Moon when we talk about nervous-system readiness. It’s not about “calm vibes only.” It’s about being able to sit in uncertainty, lose your sh*t if you need to, and still know how to find your anchor again.

If you’re in that space right now, swollen, restless, waiting, please know that you’re not stuck. You’re just in that god-awful part everyone talks about but no one can actually explain or make useful. It’s the waiting, the wobbling, the emotional flatline before it all kicks off. It’s uncomfortable as hell, but it’s part of it.

Final Word

Your body and baby already have the plan, it just hasn’t synced with your calendar yet. Even when your mind’s losing patience, trust that one day soon, the switch will flick and you’ll know it’s go time. So breathe. Keep your world small (even if that means leaving Aunt Karen on blue ticks for 3 weeks). Let your body do what it came here to do.

This isn’t waiting. This is the build-up…the quiet before everything changes.